My musical journey

I have said before that I am a lucky woman. I really am. I have a deep appreciation for so much in my life, much more than I did even 10 years ago. Aging does have one redeeming quality; the stock you take in your own life is exactly that...your own. I don't live a big life. I'm not rich, I'm heavier now than I've ever been (damned slow metabolism...must do something about that), I don't have an exciting job, and I don't have a lot of really exciting things happen to me. Sad right? Not so much. I live a very full life with what I have around me. No, I'm not rich monetarily, but I have surrounded myself with the cream of the crop, as far as I'm concerned. Events of late have shown me who really matter to me and who I really want and need to have around me. One such event was a heart scare with my dad. He's fine..absolutely fine, thank GOD! But in that moment, I was terrified. The only other time I was more scared was when I lost Ryan at the mall. In this moment of terror was also a moment of clarity. I've always believed the theory that life is fragile, but that never rings as true as when you are in fear of losing a loved one. So, with that I have once again re-evaluated my life and in that re-evaluation have once again set up my priorities. Family: the big one. Friends...tried and tested ones...they are the 2nd biggest. My health and that of those I love round out my basic needs. Each has it greatest points of importance, and each are fragile in their own rights. Relationships are a work in progress and I have learned that when they are taken for granted, they falter and sometimes fail. I have failed at many relationships and have learned that it takes two to make it a success. One can't do the work of two and I am now learning to express my expectations of what I need from those in my life. If I don't tell them, how do they know?? And the same is true for everyone else. If I don't know what my loved ones need, how do I know what to do to meet them. It's give and take. Daily. If you slack off, the relationship suffers. So with that, I have vowed to enrich the relationships of my life with those with whom I chose to share my life.

The weight thing is a constant battle with me and one I'm losing more and more the older I get. But with the ever increasing health risks, and this new found clarity I have vowed to do something about it. My gym membership has done nothing to help me. I think I need to actually go to the gym for it to work. I think I'll give that a go...start date: Monday. Wish me luck.

My job isn't exciting. No. It isn't. But I love it. I get to talk to people, laugh with people, and make people feel better when they're maybe a little scared. How awesome is that?? Nursing...it's a great job, if you've got the heart for it.

Though it's true that not much exciting happens to me, sometimes an event happens that just blows me out of the water. I had such an experience this past week. For months, Kathy (my BFF, my Ying) and I have been waiting and planning our 3 day "musical journey" to Toronto to see our favourite band: U2. We have never traveled together just the two of us before so this was a new thing for the two of us. Kathy was able to acquire 2 tickets to the show (no small feat as the shows sell out very quickly) and a great flight package ($530 for our return flight and two nights accommodations right down town) and my job was entertainment. As luck would have it, the Toronto International Film Festival was in town the same time as the concert. So our activities were centered around music and movies...two of my most favourite things. As time grew closer to go we were getting more and more excited. We've seen U2 before (this was her 5th time - or 6th time - I can't remember which) and this was my 2nd. Not many people from our neck of the woods can say that they've seen them live. That in itself is quite a feather for my cap, I must say. I'm so thankful to have had that opportunity and to have seen them with Kathy (and Lisa the first time) as Kathy and I have loved this band since our teen years. This...this is big. Music has always been a big part of my life. Not that I play any instruments, or that I can sing (though I'm a great car singer), but to be anywhere and not have music in the background is just wrong to me. I didn't grow up with a musical family but mum & dad always had the radio on, and I was in the school band (I played flute). My brother Derrick is very into music, or at least he used to be. I just love it and music speaks to me. I hear a song and I can tell you where I was in my life when I first heard it or when I listened to it. Songs remind me of happy times, sad times and it inspires. So ... as you can see ... it's really BIG to me. That's why going to concerts is a really big deal too. To see the people sing live...these people who I listen to in my car, and in my home and sing along with...to see these people live is a thrill for me.

The big day arrives. After going to bed just before midnight, the alarm goes off at 4am for me to get up. And I'm up because I didn't sleep well. I'm too excited. Darryl is driving us to the airport and he and his bride will be here to get me at just after 5am. So I get up and showered, check my suitcase to make sure I packed all I needed to pack. Hmmm...only one bag. I'm impressed with myself. I'm usually a pack-for-the-unexpected kinda gal, but not this time. I pack what I need with only a couple of choices, depending on weather. So they arrive on time and we're off. Now, I hate to fly so my stomach is in knots and I feel like I could throw up at any second. (I don't though) We meet up with a woman from my work, Vivian and her lovely husband, Louis who will also be flying up to the big city for this amazing musical journey. We chat and talk about how excited we are. They have GA tickets which means they'll be on the floor and possibly close to the stage. How awesome is she???

The flight goes well and we arrive in Toronto very, very early. It's a beautiful day (pun intended) and Kathy & I head to the hotel via shuttle where we were lucky enough to check in early. We bring our bags up and check out our room. It has a balcony!!! How cool is that? So, after some primping, we're off to the AGO (Art Gallery of Ontario) where we spend ... oh ... what was it? ... 2 hours! What a great place. They had the coolest are exhibits which included works by Monet, Renoir, Ruben and Warhol. No VanGogh's though. He's my fav. But I love impressionism stuff and there was plenty of that. Kathy & I hadn't been to an art museum together since we went to New York together in High School so it was great to do it again. After that, we took in a film screening for the TIFF. We saw The Informant! which was really funny and quite an experience. They give you these little survey cards and you fill them out and rate the movie. They (the TIFF people) gather all these cards and they help determine who wins at the People's Choice Awards. It's kind of cool that Kathy and I had a small part in that, albeit a really small part. There were celebrities all over town and we were on the look out for them. We were hoping to see some at some screenings but as it turns out, we only saw Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York. Now I say "only" but as a Royal watcher, I was pretty happy to have seen her. So ends our first day.

I wake very, very early the next morning @ 6am (in my defence, it was Maegan's fault as she had updated her facebook status and with that, Kathy's phone 'chirped' as it did the entire trip when one of her family members texted her or updated their fb status). So I got up, showered, and went down to the business office to also update my fb status while Kathy slept. When I came back up to the room, she was up and nearly ready to head out and start our GREAT day...the day we get to see U2 live...AGAIN!!! We went to breakfast and then began walking. We went to the Elgin theatre which is this lovely old theatre that looks a lot like the Capitol theatre here in town, only on a larger and even more elegant scale. We watched The Invention of Lies (or Lying) -I can't remember if it's 'Lies' or 'Lying'-which was absolutely hilarious and you all need to go see it when it comes out. It's roll on the floor laughing funny. After that, we bought ourselves a BIG salad and headed for the hotel to eat it. We sat and talked about our favourite U2 song and what we hoped they'd sing and we ate our lunch. Then, early in the afternoon, we headed out. We took the subway down to Union Station which is down at the waterfront and we walked around, looking at all there was to see. And there's lots and lots of things/people to see in Toronto.

I have to say there are a lot of different people in Toronto. Not just different ethnic-backgrounds, but different people. There are a lot of beautiful people in Toronto. Really beautiful. Men and women. People that make you really take notice and think: WOW, they're gorgeous! and at the same time made me feel schleppy. Something I need to work on...for me. But I digress. There's also people who are hard on their luck. Young people, old people, people from different ethnic cultures. I don't think I could get used to seeing disabled people begging for money any more than I could get used to seeing people sleeping on the sidewalk. Right out in the middle of the sidewalk. We had to walk around them. What an eye-opener. That really saddened me. I could get all philosophical now...but I won't. This is already a long enough entry and if I vear off too much on a different tangent, I may never get back. The sheer volume of people is staggering to me as well. And where are they all going?? They're all in a hurry, walking head-down texting into whatever device they've got in their little hands while they listen to whatever it is they're listening to through their ear-pieces. In a city of so many live people, it was like walking amongst a sea of zombies. So this is the new generation: isolate yourself as much as possible. Why talk when you can text. Ignore everyone while you go about your life. Hmm....imagine how much they are all missing as they are staring into their phones. Remember when phones were used to actually TALK to someone?? Ugh! Suffice to say, there's is so much to be thankful for living here in the Maritimes. Yes we have our homeless and yes we have our teen/young people who text too much....but we also have so much more human contact. Thank 'the man in the sky' (you'll all have to see the film The Invention of Lies to get that reference...it's hilarious...trust me).

Okay, so we've made it finally to the Rogers Centre and after a quick jaunt around the building to see all the other fans waiting in line (some, who had GA tickets were in line for more than a day), and after we bought our souvenirs, we head into the stadium. It is at this time that Vivian calls me and announces she's just seen Bono and was 2 feet from him. Now...I'm happy for her but I'm sure my skin just turned a sickly shade of green. But good for her. I can still be jealous and happy, right? Sure I can...I'm that evolved!!!

*sigh* ... I'm now in my seat and staring in awe at this ... this ... monster of a stage. WOW!!! We sit and talk and giggle and chat up the women behind us as we wait for the boys to take to the stage. Oh .. wait. We have to go through the opening act first. Right. Snow Patrol. Who the hell are they?? Well...they are awesome, that's who they are. I've heard one of their songs and I love it. I just didn't know who they were. They played for under an hour then the crew came out to clear the stage. After what seemed like an eternity, U2 took to the stage in a great opening number: Breathe. I didn't like this song much when listening to the CD, but I have to say...it's grown on me and I love it now. Larry kills it on the drums...what a great drum song. The entire show was full of energy and Bono was in great form. The Edge is still the greatest guitar player ever, in my opinion. And Adam, the lost bass player. He never gets much mention, but he has tons of energy and engages the crowd. As great as all four of the lads from Ireland are, it's Bono who steals the show again....as always. He's amazing and is worth every red penny spent to see him. U2 is more than just a band that plays music that has meaning and heart to them, they are an event that makes you feel alive as they bring you along on their 'musical journey'. After the concert that lasted only 2 hours, Kathy & I walked back to the hotel which was really a long walk. I have a blister the size of a child's head on my foot. But it's okay...I had just seen U2 with my best friend and all is right with the world.

The next day we slept in a bit and then got up, checked out, left our bags at the hotel where later we'd pick the up and catch the airport shuttle, and headed out for breakfast and then to watch Rattle & Hum (U2's 1987 movie) which TIFF was putting on at an outdoor make-shift theatre at Dundas Square. Now the night before, U2 didn't play my favourite song (Bad), nor did they play Kathy's (Pride) which bummed us out completely. We had to settle for hearing them in the movie on a huge screen which we settled for. We went to the Marche for lunch and then back to the hotel to collect our bags and to begin our journey home.

Our flight arrived shortly after 11pm and I was greeted by my husband, whom I missed more than I can tell you. I was exhausted. It was an emotional past 5 days between my dad and my trip with Kathy with whom I have re-discovered and am thankful for. Again I say, I'm a lucky woman and am now looking forward to my next great adventure....whatever it may be.

Mummy, what's an ingesta (from June 23rd, 2008)

Questions. Kidlets are full of them, aren't they? And they ask the most poigniant of them at the strangest time. Case in point:

I had dropped my kidlets off at their grandparent's house while I went to a PSSC meeting. It's after 9pm and I have to work in the morning so I'm rushing the kids out of mum's house and into the car. We're driving home when Ryan asks me:

'Mummy....what's an ingesta?'

'A what??', I ask?

'An ingesta', he repeats. 'What is it'

'Um, I'm not sure what you mean, baby.'....and I'm a little afraid to ask.

'You know, what girls pee out of'

*****Light bulb goes on above my head******

'Uh...where did you hear about those?' I ask, instantly wondering why my mother, who just spent 2 hours with the kids, would mention anything about a vagina. She still refers to penises as 'ding dongs'.

'We took it in school', he says.

'Oh, okay. Well, sweetie...it's called a vagina and it's not where the girl pees out of.' --- insert deep breath here --- 'Girls have 3 holes: One to pee out of, One to give birth to babies and One to poop.'

'So, they don't pee out of their vagina?'

'No'"

"They pee outof their pee hole?"

"And babies come out of the ingesta?"

"The vagina, yes"

"But we came out of your belly...not your va-...vagina?"

Oh, my GOD!!!

"Because that route wasn't working"

"We were too big, right Mummy?"

"No...but I promise to explain why you didn't come out of my vagina some other time."

"Okay. Do we get a bedtime snack?"

Sweet Mary, mother of GOD!!!

Another Sean-ism (from Feb. 14th, 2008)

Getting the boys ready for bed, I like to play the game: WHO LOVES YOU MORE? Usually, I end this saying that I love them way more than they love me. Tonight, Valentines Day night, 2008, my Sean and I have yet another (I think) amusing small conversation. I should mention that Sean has a 'girlfriend' at school who's name is Kiera (last name unknown). He loves her....he really does. His little eyes light up when he talks about her. He's made a special Valentine for her, etc. She's a lucky girl.

So, I'm tucking Sean into bed. I pull the covers up around his shoulders and begin nuzzling his neck which inevitably gets him giggling ... THE best sound in the world! Then I start the game...

'Who loves you most?', I ask while nuzzling him and he's giggling.
'YOU!!!', he says thru giggles.
'Yer right I do!!'
'I love you as much as you love me!', says my sweet baby
'Impossibl-bl-bl-ble', says I.

Then to mix it up, I say to him: 'Mummy's your best girl, right?'
'Right'
'And I'm gonna be your best girl forever, right? Even better than Kiera!'
.............*silence*......................
'Well, Mummy!....I can't marry you!'
I laugh; 'Why not?'
With this, my little man looks at me very seriously and says: 'You'd have to dump Daddy!'

I laugh...........and laugh................and laugh!

Then he says to me: 'I can't marry you anyway...sons don't marry their MOTHERS!!!!!!!!'

He's on to me! The illusion is dead with him now. I may be 'beautiful and shiny' but I fear, like the wicked Queen, that I am no longer the 'fairest in the land'

*sniff*

*note: all entries from this date to present date (Sept. 8/09) were brought over from my facebook...in case there was any confusion. :)